Archive for September, 2006

Today

Monday, September 25th, 2006

Rough day today. Had to run Madison to the doctor for stitches. She ended up with 4 stitches. It sucked. It was bad. I feel like a horrible mother. I haven’t smoked in like 8 years and I’d love to go outside and have one right now. That’s my day.

She needs antibiotics now. And giving her medicine is like pulling teeth. Will be fun.

Why Men Aren’t Secretaries

Monday, September 25th, 2006

Ok, my own hubby sent me this one. That should tell you something. LOL

WHY MEN AREN’T SECRETARIES…

Husband’s note on refrigerator for wife:

Someone from the Gyna Colleges called.
They said the Pabst beer is normal.
I didn’t know you liked beer.

Handy Tips

Sunday, September 24th, 2006

One of my friends sent me this list of tips. Thought I’d pass it on:

*Reheat Pizza – Heat up leftover pizza in a non-stick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works.

*Easy Deviled Eggs – Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal,mash till they are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.

*Expanding Frosting – When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with Your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar/calories per serving.

*Reheating refrigerated bread – To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.

*Newspaper weeds away – Start putting in your plants,work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers put layers around the plants overlapping as you go cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not get through wet newspapers.

*Broken Glass – Use a dry cotton ball to pick up little broken glass pieces of glass- the fibers catch ones you can’t see!

*No More Mosquitoes – Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away.

*Squirrel Away! – To keep squirrels from eating your plants sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn’t hurt the plant and the squirrels won’t come near it.

*Easier thank you’s – When you throw a bridal/baby shower, buy a pack of thank you cards for the guest of honor. During the party, pass out the envelopes and have everyone put their address on one. When the bride/new mom sends the thank you’s, they’re all addressed!

*MI MINE!!!!! – If you purchase a new bike for your child, place their picture inside the handle bar before placing the grips on. If the bike is stolen and later recovered, remove the grip and there is your proof who owns the bike.

*Flexible vacuum – To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings.

*Reducing Static Cling – Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and – viola – static is gone.

*Measuring Cups – Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill it with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but don’t dry the cup. Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.

*Foggy Windshield? – Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car. When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!

*Reopening envelope – If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals easily.

*Conditioner – Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It’s a lot cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It’s also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn’t like when you tried it in your hair…

*Goodbye Fruit Flies – To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass fill it 1/2″ with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dishwashing liquid, mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever! Barbara, Birch Run, MI

*Get Rid of Ants – Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it “home,” & can’t digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, esp. if it rains, but it works & you don’t have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!

*Take baby powder to the beach – Keep a small bottle of baby powder in your beach bag. When your ready to leave the beach sprinkle yourself and kids with the powder and the sand will slide right off your skin.

*Clean your glass shower – To clean the glass in your shower easily, apply lemon juice to the glass with a sponge. Then, take newspaper and wipe the lemon juice off the glass. It will be clean and sparkle with no scrubbing!

Poker

Sunday, September 24th, 2006

My hubby and his friends have a poker night every couple of months. They rotate whose house its at each time, so I end up with it one or twice a year. After Madison goes to bed, I usually get to join in. Which led me to thinking, what is my poker strategy? I have played a lot of online poker tournaments. I mostly use common sense and play a more conservative poker game till I get a feel for the other players. With Bill’s friends, we have done this so often, I know how they play. However, they know how I play too (I think — women have a much better memory though — or at least I do). I don’t think I have any tells. Then again, I don’t recall any of them havng tells either. I do know that later in the evening I have to mix up my betting just to keep them sharp. Otherwise, they figure me out. One (actually 2) of his friends are more aggressive than I like. However, those are great pots to win. Mainly, I guess my strategy is to lay low, play conservative, and hopefully make it till the end of the night. What is your strategy?

Bras

Sunday, September 24th, 2006

Another email delight:

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy’s and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife.

“What type of bra?” asked the clerk.

“There’s more than one type?” inquires the man.

Look around,” said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. “Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from.”

Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied: “There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?”

Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.

The Saleslady responded, “It is all really quite simple…The Catholic type supports the masses. The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen. The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and the Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills.

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn’t figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

(A} Almost Boobs…

{B} Barely there.

{C} Can’t Complain!

{D} Dang!

{DD} Double dang!

{E} Enormous!

{F} Fake.

{G} Get a Reduction.

{H} Help me, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up !