D A M N I T O L

Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N

Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait till they moved out.

ST. M O M M A’S W O R T

Plant extract that treats mom’s depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

P E P T O B I M B O

Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

D U M B E R O L

When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R

Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N

Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, “You make me want to be a better person.”

BUYAGRA

Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency,duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N

Relieves headache caused by a man who can’t remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T

A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E N T

When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.

This is cool. Go check out Wallhogs. You can send them any picture, they will take out the background for you, and you now have a huge picture for your wall. Where was this company when I was decorating my house? I have quite a few ideas where I could have used this.

The website is somewhat new. They have several areas under construction. However, there is a note on the site that these areas are soon coming. They will be launching a ton of stock Hogs and some licensed ones too. I am hoping that they get licensing for some cartoon characters or maybe even Disney. I have some great ideas what I can do with them.

Without any paperwork, Grandpa started getting a $500 check every month. So Grandpa and Grandma started cashing them.

It turns out the government made a mistake with the address; the checks were intended for another person with the exact same name.

Grandpa then received a notice that he had to pay back $6,000. Visibly upset, he complained to his grandson, an accountant.

His grandson asked: “Grandpa, didn’t you wonder why you were receiving checks for doing absolutely nothing?”

Grandpa answered: “I just assumed the Democrats were back in power.”

I got a link sent me with regarding baby shower invitations. I am pretty sure I don’t get another one of these, so I thought I’d pass out the link. The site looks pretty cool. I did come across some baptism invites that I would possibly use with the new baby. I also found birth annoucements. With Madison, I created these myself. However, I had more time when I only had one kid. We’ll see if I use this service. It does look pretty cool.