Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?
Wife: I clean the toilet…
Husband: How does that help?
Wife: I use your toothbrush….
Archive for December, 2006
Revenge
Thursday, December 21st, 2006Eve’s side of the story
Thursday, December 21st, 2006After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. “So,How is everything going?” inquired God.
“It is all so beautiful, God,” she replied.
“The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, Everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It is these Breasts you have given me The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real pain,” reported Eve.
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc……….she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more “symmetrically balanced,” as she put it.
“That is a fair point,” replied God, “But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.” And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden. “Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?” “Just fantastic,” she replied, “But for one oversight on your part. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.”
God thought for a moment and said, “You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you Now let’s see………..where did I put the useless boob?”
Now doesn’t THAT make more sense than that crap about the rib?
Tampon Crafts
Monday, December 18th, 2006
Sorry guys, this link is too good not to pass on.
Flu or Pregnant?
Monday, December 18th, 2006What’s up with this? Felt fine all day then got really dizzy and nauseous this afternoon. It was bad enough that I stopped looking for rockstartup puzzle pieces and laid down on my bathroom floor. Then about 2 hours later I was fine again.
What’s your vote?
Madison’s Quote of the Day
Monday, December 18th, 2006“Turn the tree on mommy. Make me happy”.
That is how I started the morning. Obviously, we have a fake tree. And we only got as far as putting it up last night (it is prelit, so we didn’t have to worry about the lights). Tonight, we are doing ornaments. The make me happy line is what killed me. Yes, she is only 2 and the master manipulator.
