Stay At Home Moms Dangerous?

Yes, I am a stay at home mom.  My husband and I chose this for many reasons.  First, daycare is expensive here in Chicago.  I would be working to pay for daycare.  Second, my salary would put us in the next tax bracket.  We would be taxed more if I went to work.  We also decided that we wanted one of us raising our kids — not a daycare worker.  Yes, I have a college degree.  However, I will still have that degree once my kids are in school.  I do not look down upon people who put their kids in daycare.  However, I don’t get what gives others the right to do it to me.  What really gets me going is that the feminist movement considers my choice dangerous.  Why?

According to Gretchen Ritter, stay at home moms are “dangerous subversives and a plague on society.”  Who is Gretchen Ritter?  She is the director of  the Center for Women’s and Gender Studies at the University of Texas and as associate professor of government and women’s studies.  She also states that staying at home with my children denies their father a chance to be involved, I lose a chance to contribute as a professional and community activist, it teaches my children that the world is divided by gender, it stresses children out, it victimizes women who work, and it makes it tougher for families with two working parents because schools and libraries will neglect their needs. “Full-time mothering is … bad for children,” she insists.  “… the stay-at-home mother movement is bad for society,” she states.

Of course, she has no evidence to support these claims.  The part that really kills me is that she is college professor who is teaching this to young women.  Society already puts enough pressure on us, why must we do it to one another?  I would love to know how my choice denies my kid’s father to be in their life?  One of us has to work.  If we both worked, then neither one of us would be there.  I don’t understand how I can’t be a community activist.  If you think about it, I would have more time for activities like this.  As for the world being divided by gender, unfortunately, it is.  My question back to her is what about daycare workers?  They are primarily female.  I would think daycare would stress out your children more than keeping them at home.  Lastly, why is my problem that 2 working parent families can’t get free daycare from the schools and library?  That’s what I read into that last statement.

I guess I don’t get how being a stay at home mom makes me any less of a women or any less of a feminist.  I thought the feminist movement was about choices.  Well, what happened to my choice to stay at home?

Comments

  1. Yeah, feminists say they want choices for women… as long as women make the choices they want them to make. If women want to stay home then they have every right to without being brow beaten by someone interested in social engineering.

  2. I have been a stay at home mom for 14 years, by choice. I have a college degree and have only recently started working from home. My kids are all finally in school so I can spend some time adding to our income and utilizing the skills I gained from college and life.

    Everyone should have a choice and to force your opinion as judgment on someone else is in direct violation of our constitution. Whether you are a man or woman.

  3. The world is full of people talking out their a-holes. Ms. Ritter is just another to add to the list.

  4. Holly Schwendiman :

    The only danger is that extreme feminists are a few less in number and in my mind that's not a bad thing at all. What kills me is the attitude that it's all mutually exclusive. I can be a stay at home, still contribute to society and the working world and even pursue a professional career in the work place when my children are raised. I can be educated, hold degrees and still hold babies and children for a few years. I have many years to work with but I will never get back the years when my kids need a mom. I didn't have children to let someone else raise them.

    Satan knows the hand that rocks the cradle is the most powerful. What better way than to strike at it from other women. Sad but true. Let the Gretchens sound a war cry, I've got more important things like raising my children and shaping the future to attend to. :)

    Hugs,

    Holly

  5. Exactly! Here in Finland we have the possibility to get a support of 294 euros a month minus taxes if we choose not to put our children in daycare. This, until the youngest child is 3 yrs old. After that we're "unemployed" if we won't start working. Some cities or communes also pay an extra amount from a few ten euros uptil over 300 euros a month to support being at home with the children. Both parents have this possibility, one at a time, and the father has a paid holiday for 18 days to take during the first 8-9 months. Most of the fathers who uses this holiday stay at home for the first weeks when the baby is newborn, to bond with the child and help the mother.

    There's a campain going on to make men realize that it's ok to do this, and the attitudes are changing towards a more familycentred community where it's ok to stay at home with the kids as long as possible. But like everywhere, there are these "carrierefeminists" that think the same as in the US and probably in every industrial country. But a whole lot of researches has actually proved that it's better for the child to be at home for the first years, both socially and healthy. :) Finland is a small country with about 5,5 million people but we are a proof that it's possible to change the way people think about it. Slowly, but it's possible!

    A staying at home mom, and proud of it!

    Ingrid

  6. I wonder what Ms. Ritter would say about a woman who quit her job just to TRY and start a family?

    All woman and men for that matter should make choices that are good for THEIR souls not just because they are good for society. Society will suffer more greatly if this choice is not taught and accepted.

  7. Well, this is incredible. I felt compelled to write this woman an email. Here is what I said:

    I just had to write and ask you if you were kidding when you stated the following information:

    That choice by women denies fathers the chance to be involved;

    Women lose a chance to contribute as professionals and community activists;

    It teaches children the world is divided by gender;

    It stresses children out;

    It victimizes women who work because employers fear women professionals may opt for the same choice some day and quit their jobs;

    It makes it tougher for families with two working parents because schools and libraries will neglect their needs

    I can't get over this. Are you a feminist who is feeling guilty about your own choices? How sad that you are so unaware of the positive effects that mothering has on children. I am proud to be a stay at home mother who cares for her children and has a husband who can care for all of us. His involvement and quality time with his children is heightened by our choice to have me rear my daughters. I am proud to be the person who teaches them right from wrong and proud that my oldest daughter emulates me and my job. For Halloween, she plans to go as a mommy!!! Watch out…I'm creating a future potentially dangerous female.

    Karol Foster

  8. That's just nuts. I thought feminists were FOR our choices not against them! Wow…I don't even know what to say cause I have so much to say. I think I'll blog it sometime. LOL This really got me thinking. Thank you for turning on my brain. :)

  9. Great post, Lisa! That is utterly ludicrous to think that we, as mothers at home, are a danger to our children. What kind of college degree does she have – a degree of insanity?!

  10. This post hit a sore spot for me, so I have to rant.

    Mike and I made a choice not to have kids. Yet I am a SAHW. I am really sick of hearing people make snide comments about me…as in…"if you don't have kids, why don't you have a job?" or "what if he leaves you for a bimbo, what will you do then?" and "you're no better than a prostitute, living off your husband's salary."

    None of this should be anyone's business but our own. Maybe if people shut up, minded their own business, and accepted the fact that we all are entitled to make our own life choices, we'd have a much nicer world.

    Although I am not a parent to anyone but cats, I feel that if it's at all possible for a parent to stay home and raise children, that is the best choice to make. I happen to know of a few guys who are SAHDads, whle the mom goes out and works…why do I never read anything about anyone dissing them for that choice?

    But I do realize that having a SAH parent is not possible for everyone. It's all about choices in the end.

  11. Oh my poor, poor children! They had to be subjected to mom being home all day, coming home to a clean house and fresh baked goodies as a treat. I was there to pick them up if they got sick at school. I was there if they couldn't go to school because they were sick or were on vacation! Oh how could I have been so thought less to subject them to such horrors! *insert eyeroll here*

    Great post Lisa!!

  12. I am a working mom. My whole life revolves around not having to put my daughter in daycare though. I do about every possible thing to squeeze my living out of here.

    I drive a school bus and I know the kids from the daycare are the worst behaved in the school I deliver too. No, not all of them misbehave, but sure enough the ones that do are in the daycare system.

    Anyways, I am glad that we are each entitled to our own opinions. I am glad this lady can have hers and we all can own our own. It is a wonderful world.

  13. Great points! Stay at home dads (though not as prevalent) are on the rise so in 20 years her argument will be irrelevant. I have had the same issues with breast feeding. I was looked down on because I didn't breast feed my kids ( was not medically able to for the first, and decided to bottle feed the second).

    Here's my question… How can a society that says I'm a bad person for NOT breastfeeding expect me to feed my child by breast if I'm at work… because if I stay at home i'm a bad mom? Women, we can't win. We are darned if we do, darned if we don't.

    What kills me is the woman on woman judgment and bigotry, we are perpetuating all of this against each other by stating absolutes and forcing our values and needs others. In an offensive and militant manner taboot.

    I've been looked down on:

    for having a voluntary c section the second time after an emergency c section for the for child.

    For not breast feeding.

    For being a stay at home mom.

    I agree with you, it's all about choices and choosing what is best for your family. No one has the right to make you feel bad for anything that is a God given right (and isn't illegal).

    OK, I'll climb off my soap box now. ;) Amen!

  14. I am a stay-at-home-mama AND a feminist. I feel like the word feminism has a very negative feel attached to it, even for women. Please don't let extremists make you judge feminism as something it's not. Feminism is about equality and choice. Don't claim that you are not a feminist simply because you don't believe what extremists say.

    Every woman that respects herself is a feminist.

  15. This is a hard topic…as a stay at home dad…I have a somewhat unique opinion regarding this professor's feelings. but I also feel like discussing it further gives her unneeded legitimacy.

    Bradley

    The Egel Nest

  16. Karen Lynch-Live the :

    I am always shocked at people like this Gretchen Rubin who have the audacity to judge other peoples lifestyles.

    What is best for one woman (or man, or family) may not be the best for another woman (or man, or family).

    She does not have the definitive answer for everyone and she is the danger to society by teaching such a biased and judgmental philosophy.

  17. Wow, what an about face! This is probably before your time but I remember when "working mothers" were the ones looked down upon.

  18. Kudos for a great blog post!

    Oddly enough, I wrote an essay on this topic back in college. (Yes, I too am a college educated "slacker" – sarcasm intended.) That was… um… years ago. Nobody knew what I was talking about. I guess it was an essay of what was to come.

    Any way, I completely agree with you! Feminism is about the right to make choices. Some of us have chosen to take the option that works for us. (Gasp!) Men have the choice to stay home too if that is what they choose. Good for the parents who can actually afford to allow this to happen in this day and age.

    And how could she talk about what's good for society? Just look at society these days! What point could she possibly be making in her favor???

  19. Well I was in the military and then my husband and decided to have a child…well then my mission changed. I ETSed and now I am a stay at home mother…I have had people look down on me, but never say it to my face. I love the fact that I am home with my children, even though a part of me wants to go to work…but I feel that I am raising my children and that is MY responsibility. I have a lot of respect for women and men who work or don't work, but are taking care of their children. We need not worry about women who don't work we need to worry about those mothers who kill their children or abuse them…Ms. Ritter needs to alter her focus. I am not hurt by her choice to voice her opinions, for we all have the freedom to do so. But I am sure that Ms. Ritter, I am not sure if she has or does not have children, but I am sure she wishes she were there to see them do things for the first time….I know I have the opportunity to see my children's first. But thank you Ms. Ritter for letting me know that their are women out there who think the way you do. Because that makes me want to be an even better mother for my children…so they can see that their mother was an American Soldier who served her country and a home maker who raised them to have morals, and ambitions. I am all woman..and so are those mothers who take care of their children, working or not.

  20. Obviously, neither a stay at home mom nor a stay at home dad is dangerous for kids! Sheesh!

    Kids need care. Small kids need lots of care. Stay at home parenting is one of the good choices– when it's possible.

  21. My husband recently lost his job. We were fortunate that he found a new one the very next day. However, he is making less than we need to live on. After doing all the cutting that can be done, we decided that I might need to work. I called around to day care centers last week and about died from shock. For my three boys, with the multiple child discounts, it would cost me about $355 A WEEK for child care. Since the best offer I've received so far is $8 p/h, I'd actually go into the hole in order to go back to work ($8 times 40 hours = $320 before taxes).

    Please tell me how exactly I'm harming my children by not further destroying our budget in order to go to work?

  22. I would love to talk to gretchen I am a stay at home soon to be wife and stepmother ;)

    Staying at home as afforded me to earn MORE MONEY than I did at my other job. and I now make triple my income. and like 4'x what my fiance makes.

    So I dont think it plagues society I think it definitely gives people a chance to look at new things. I think being a SAHM/WAHM is great for children if the parent is actively teaching the child. Some parents keep their kids at home and don't do what I feel personally is enough interaction with the child and teaching them. But that is my own personal opinion. Others take their SAHM job very seriously that its just not about cleaning and cooking its about teaching as well. I think that it depends on the person. Some are lazy and some take it seriously.

  23. It's only woman's choice to stay at home. I can see no problem with that.

  24. You're dead on! I'm just about to quit my job to stay home with my 9 month old son, and the "feminist" guilt that has plagued me over the last several months has been something nasty. But feminism is about choice, and I'll be damned if other women will judge the validity of the choices I make for myself and my family. I'm a feminist because I believe that women are intelligent enough to know what they need, and strong enough to pursue whatever goals they have in mind. Stuff like this just really gets me going when we should all be on the same side!

  25. Oh yay! I'm subversive AND a plague! Cool! Those are adjectives I' ve yet to be able to use in describing myself. What new possibilities.

    Greta Ritter who? Was that her name? Eh, she's small taters and we SAHM's shouldn't sweat what she says. I would kinda worry about her selling that garbage to students but then I think….if I'd heard that during college I would have just thought the woman was a raving idiot. I'm sure most girls in college would think the same.

  26. Actually the voices for women staying home are louder than these few lone voices in the woods against it. And that's not necessarily a good thing. That said, what still never seems to get brought up is that the way to get gender equity into this is for more men to continue joining the SAH ranks. I am proud wife of a SAHD who does the housework and has been primary caregiver for our child since the day my maternity leave (too short thanks to US shortsightedness) ended more than a decade ago. It just so happened that only one of us in the household was on a career track with a salary that could support the entire family, and it happened to be me, so while SAH wasn't an option for me, it was for him, and our child never spent a minute in day care. Everyone keep fighting for what you think is right — but remember that guys can SAH too, it's not just a default "woman's job."

  27. Gretchen Ritter sounds like a devote to deconstruction theory. Therefore, any choice that supports the traditional model is suspect if not dangerous. I was a woman studies minor in college and found that many of the students embraced it. It was really depressing for me and I had a really hard time (& low grades) because I did not accept it. There was no real room for discussion unless it was what the professors agreed with. I saw quite a few students become hateful towards anything traditional (even if the traditional choices were made for non-traditional reasons.) I don't see how a bunch of feminist teachers and authors who have nothing in common with me should try and dictate how my life is spent anymore than I think a patriarchal system should.

    Personally, I have always been grounded by the understanding that traditional women of previous generations felt a woman taking a job outside of the home was taking a job away from another family who needed support. Of course this is outdated as many families now need both parents to work to maintain a lifestyle above the poverty level.

    Personally, I am happy for any family that has the ability to have one parent in the home. To claim it damages kids to grow up with a stay at home mom is unconscionable and only exposes the agenda of the speaker, which is not meant to actually help all women. Instead, it is meant to secure themselves a position of power and influence in society.

    Sorry for the long rant, I guess my disappointed with the womens studies program and its lack of a push for actual equality of all women still burns me.

  28. It seems very odd that a woman in Texas, which is known for strong "family values", would take such a stance.

    Kudos to all couples who have the finances that enable a loving woman to raise her children.

    If anyone is dangerous, it's the Gretchen Rubins in this world! She should redirect her anger towards the real injustices in this world like the massacres of millions of innocent women and children that is happening everyday.

  29. Many of the negative statements about women who choose to be stay at home moms are terrible. Many of the statements, castigating working moms, are awful. In my opinion, moms are moms and they are trying to do the best that they can for their kids and their husbands. It's just wrong to judge any of them, without knowing the facts. The problem that I see, is that women, if they are anything like I was as a young mother, don't think about themselves. They are dreamy eyed over their children and husbands and they don't have a plan, in case things go wrong. They aren't prepared. They enter into a job that has no security and can end in a nano second. We as women, mothers and wives, need to prepare for the worst and hope for the best!!! God bless us all!

  30. Knocking SAHM's is just so crazy to me on so many levels. I'd love to be a stay at home mom if the opportunity presented itself and I'd contribute may of societies ills to their being less moms at home than the opposite, not knocking those of us who do chose to work or even those of us who have to work outside of the home. Yet also know the benefits of a parent caring for his or her child full time.

  31. I just have to weigh in here.

    I am an American living in a liberal country in Europe. I can honestly say, that if daycare was a nationalized benefit, this feminism debate would be a moot point. I think it's horrible that in the US women are forced to stay home because they can't afford daycare, but then when they do stay home they are demonized for not working.

    True choice means being able to CHOOSE. If the US offered a decent maternity benefit (Scandinavia gives a year at 80% salary) and affordable daycare, women would be able to choose how to balance motherhood and work without the guilt they pile on women in the US.

    There are other ways…it's just,. in the US, women are not afforded the choice to truly be free to choose!

  32. Dangerous huh? As a parent, I'm concerned about a lot of things that might be dangerous – but staying home with my kids certainly isn't one of them.

  33. Okie dokie ladies.

    I'm a stay at home mother and a republican but that woman's an absolute idiot.

    Where does she say that though?

  34. When my first child was born, I worked in the reservations office of an airline. I was lucky enough to be able to schedule my son's sleep schedule according to my work schedule. If I worked an 8-5 day, I'd get him up at around 6am and put him in for his nap right as I left at 745 am. The baby sitter let him sleep from about 8-12, fed him lunch and put him back down for a nap at about 3. I got home and he was just waking up. I was with him for the rest of the day or night depending on my work schedule. My point is that, I only missed a very few hours of his awake time. I was exhausted but it helped my guilt. (Not that I should have had any!)After my second child was born, I was lucky enough to be able to quit my job. I then, had two more kids for a total of four. This crazy Gretchen woman would try to tell me that I was a changed person after I quit my job and had become dangerous to society? At least the feminists, in years past, tried to soften the blow of their words and never attacked the stay at home mom as being bad for society! The worst problem of what this woman says is that some of our girls will hear her garbage and believe it. Many establishments require that these courses be taken in high schools and colleges. Girls have to hear this poison, study it and write about it or they won't pass. Often they are required courses like PE. So who are the dangerous ones? Not the working or stay at home moms. It's the feminists like this one that are indoctrinating young girls! Maybe her kids were stressed when she was home, who wouldn't be? If I had to stay home with her, I'd be stressed too!

  35. The only SAHM/SAHW that freak me out (mostly) the Chicago area, are the Urban Assault Vehicle driving, while talking on a cell phone, sipping a latte while trying to put on lip gloss…

    These are the type of SAHW/SAHM that need to really stay at home as they are dangerous to not just the general public, but the kids that they are trying to raise.

    If I see another license plate in the North Shore area that says "ME ME ME" on it, I am going to puke.

    So how are most stay at home moms helping again?

  36. Author, where does she say all this? I can't find an actual quote from this mystery working woman but I find people referencing her words.

    I'd love to crawl all over her ass whilst spinning around town with a latte in the cupholder of my BMW, kids singing along in the back and checking texts on my iphone.

    yeah, I'm a multitasker

    But what do I ream? There's the aura of shit crazy but I don't see the evidence.

  37. I'm a feminist and a work at home mother who would prefer to be a stay at home mother who worked soley with my child but as a single parent I need to bring in a sole income in addition to parenting.

    Please everyone be aware that this "feminist" does not represent every feminist or feminist ideologies. The majority of people (men and women) who call themselves feminist that I have come across are feminist because they support women's right to make choices for themselves and not have our lives dictated to us by an external culture run by (primarily) men.

    The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.

    Cheers from Australia

  38. That woman is a crackpot. I would have given my good eye to stay home with my son.

  39. A Real Feminist :

    I think the comments from kkp are quite accurate. If the US did have nationalized daycare and/or appropriate maternity/paternity leave ALL children and ALL of society would benefit. When I was working on my four year B.S. degree (in education) I was denied subsidized daycare for my son, as it only applied to 18-24 month associate certifications. I was a working, single 19 year old mother, raising my son on my own, and going to college, and I couldn't even receive the subsidized daycare to afford it. Does that help society ladies? Did that help my son? Stay at home was not an option, but had it been feasible, it would have been better for myself and my son.

    I want to know where the REAL feminists are. Ones that realize that 'working' or 'stay-at-home" should be CHOICES, not a form of social branding, in a society where women are truly liberated. Sadly, the US is NOT a society where women are in fact liberated. Feminists – we have failed.

  40. What about stay at home dad's? Am I (and they) DANGEROUS??? Is it OK for men but not women? Lisa you have a perfectly valid reason for being a stay at home mom. My wife has a kick ass degree and makes more than i could at this point, i would be working to pay for daycare. It makes sense to have me stay with our lovely daughter. Bet miss Ritter would love that, "Femme Nazi's" like her think its a gender issue. When it's simply an economic Issue. I love being with our "baby" all day, gender roles in this country are wide open, families do whats best for their kids and that's all that counts!! -Jim

  41. A Real Feminist :

    Here, Here Jim! The "femme nazi's" you speak of, don't recognize the relevance of having a parent home with their child, as to them, it is about gender. The fact remains, that had Feminism really succeeded, it would not be an issue at all, because our government/society would recognize the importance of having a parent home (not as a "woman's" issue, but as a family issue). My sister and brother-in-law in Sweden EACH get time off to raise their child (up to 18 months under certain conditions – correct me if I am wrong. . .) granted by the government. Maternity or Paternity leave is up to the parents, as to who takes off. And, um, 6 weeks (as granted by most employers) is just simply not enough.

  42. At least your kids won't grow up to be criminals. Look up the statistics on criminal behavior and working moms.

  43. I remember when Gretchen whatsername was wandering around making her pronouncements. Think I saw her on the Colbert Report–or if not her then someone spouting the same nonsense. I have a minor in Women's Studies from WSU (twenty years ago), and I can confidently promise, that "this" is not feminism. The thing that really made me bounce up off the sofa and pace around snorting and spitting and lecturing my long-suffering husband is that the environment she wants us all to go to work in is the same one that makes my husband sick, tired, depressed, fat and personally devalued. Women (and alternately-gendered persons) who use information-age technology or, as in the case of my mother, agricultural age technology (in her organic flower business) to work and contribute to the world are doing more for the human race than if they just trotted off to work like good little "job-homos" as my husband calls himself (meaning "in a conformity job same as everybody else" not what you might be thinking).

  44. You stay home girl! :

    I am a SAHM for the same reasons as you and never regretted a single moment. My child is a better, smarter person because of it. Apparently Gretchen wants the future to be spoiled and self serving?? That to me is dangerous.

  45. What's the point in having children if you're not going to raise them? Should the government raise our children because that's the only other alternative. I think people who blantly get pregnant and chose to have a family and a career too, are VERY selfish. I think Gretchen must of missed out on that love from her mother as a child.

  46. Ladies, I know exactly where stay at home moms are coming from because I was a stay at home mom for over 25 years. Having said that, I now see things a bit differently. I say this because stay at home moms take a financial risk when they quit therir jobs to say home and raise their children. I also never regretted my career choice BUT I was burned very badly whan my exhusband filed for divorce. It was like jumping out of a plane with no parachute.

  47. Don't you guys know by now that the government knows better than us? They know what you want and need more than you do. hahahahaha…..what a joke. Marvelous commentary. I had to send it to Dr. Laura. I think she'd love it.

  48. I cannot believe this lady and her nonsense. My child is incredibly smart and well behaved in comparison to some of the other children his age. This is because I have dedicated myself to him in a manner which no daycare facility can, or would want to (who else loves a child the way their mother does?!)

    I am very self-sufficient within the comfort and confinement of my home, and by choice, might I add. Screw that lady, we are doing what we feel is best for our family, and we are lucky to be able to stay home!

  49. I agree that no one loves a child the way a mother does. It doesn't have to be about right and wrong it's about doing the best mothering possible while also remembering that it's OK for a Mom to think about her own needs also.

  50. I really enjoyed reading this! Thank you for sharing your thoughts into this matter. I want to know where the REAL feminists are. Ones that realize that ‘working’ or ’stay-at-home” should be CHOICES, not a form of social branding, in a society where women are truly liberated. Sadly, the US is NOT a society where women are in fact liberated. Feminists – we have failed.

  51. i think what world needs is a respectful attitude towards and appropriate treatment…having said that its upto women to not take it and pack undue advantage of liberality.

  52. Ok gretchen is ABSOLUTELY STUPID. that makes no sense what she's saying, in fact the action of staying home and being a part of your kids' life contradicts her entire argument. It is a conscous decision to be a stay at home mom, it is a huge sacrifice to be a stay at home mom, and it is decision that has its positives and negatives on BOTH sidesm nothing is ever completely negative. Gretchen makes it sound as if you cant contribute to society by being a stay at home mom. Not true, you can still have a job and generate income, in fact my wife does just that. a few years back she made that decision to be a stay at home mom but to also make money online. she found this website about stay at home jobs and the rest was history. Now not only are our kids better off but things run smoothly with finances. Contributions on more than one side, thanks to a stay at home mom

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  55. Gretchen needs a brain scan. I am also a stay-at-home mom and have been one for the last two years; as for what others think, the only opinions I'm willing to consider are those of my husband and children–and they LOVE that I'm at home (I used to work full time and pay for daycare). Even so, I still contribute to the household finances through niche blogging; which has grown to afford us a comfy lifestyle :)

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