I just read a piece over at Huffington Post that really made my blood boil called Why I Regret Being a Stay-at-Home Mom. Now, I am a work at home mom with my blogs and freelance work that I do, so I don’t fall into the 100% stay at home mom role. However, I wouldn’t trade my life in for anything. So here are a few of my responses to the points that the author of that article made (her point in bold, my response follows):
1. I let down those who went before me. Feminism is around so we have choices. You have let no one down staying home and doing what I consider the most important job out there — parenting.
2. I used my driver’s license far more than my degrees. I use my degree all the time. Those critical thinking skills — I honed them in college. Best class I ever took? Statistics. That taught me how you can make any poll say what you want. Once you know that, it definitely changes your life view of things. I also use those English courses blogging. My Business Administration minor definitely helps with my blogging network (I’ve got 3 other blogs besides this one!).
3. My kids think I did nothing.My kids know what I do. Part of that is because I do the blogging, so they understand what I do is work.
4. My world narrowed. Mine got larger. Granted, a lot of that has to do with the internet. Your world is only narrow if you allow it to be.
5. I got sucked into a mountain of volunteer work. Yes, there is this thing called the word “no”. You don’t have to be a stay at home mom to volunteer too much. I also think its great to show your kids that we give back the community and that life isn’t just about us.
6. I worried more. They are kids. You worry. That is going to happen if you work or if you stay at home. There are plenty helicopter parents who work too. Plus, your kids are happier that you are involved in their lives.
7. I slipped into a more traditional marriage. Why is this a bad thing? I’m home more. I make dinner and keep most of the house clean. My husband is here less so he does yardwork (which I often times due just because I like to burn my calories mowing the lawn) and taking out the trash. Oh yes, and killing spiders. If I made more than Bill (my husband), his butt would be at home, and he would have the most work. Again, feminism gave us more choices. Nowhere in the feminism handbook does it say traditional marriage is bad.
8. I became outdated. Again, you choose to that to yourself. I’ve actually got more job skills now than I think I did before I had kids.
9. I lowered my sights and lost confidence.I’ve raised my sights. I know that I can run my own business without a boss.
She also goes into the big long tirade about money. Well, here’s the deal honey — you could have kept your job and been laid off in this horrible economy and still be in the same boat you are today. Instead though, you would have lost spending time with your kids while they were children.
Nobody can care for your kids like you do. Nobody (though good day care centers do try but they still don’t love your kids like you do). You can’t get back that time watching them take their first step or seeing their beaming faces when you are lunch mom. (My kids fight over whose classroom I should be lunch mom in when I get called to volunteer). I get to be there for my kids. Being a stay at home mom actually opened up doors for me — like this blogging thing I do.
What are your thoughts?