Posts Tagged ‘bad_mommy’
The Pediatric Cardiologist
I am not sure if you any of you even remember me posting about this, but when Will was born he had a hole in his heart. The pulmonary veins were also tight around his heart (I think it was something like this), and he had a heart murmur. When he was a little baby, we had to bring him in to be checked by the pediatric cardiologist. At that time, we were told that everything looked fine and that he would probably outgrow it. He was suppose to have a follow up in December, and bad mommy here forgot (you know they make Phentermine without a prescription now — you’d think they made me a drug that could help me remember important things like scheduling follow up visits!). Well, we went today. Good news though! Everything looks great. The hole closed up, the arteries are now normal, and the only thing we still have is a heart murmur. However, I guess 50% of all children have this sort of murmur, and they outgrow it. All in all, it was a good day.
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I quit
AKA I feel like a bad mommy.
Guilt will do that to you. As many of you know, we had problems getting Will to latch on, and he got jaundice. Instead of messing around, I did what I did with Madison and pumped exclusively. I have been doing that since he was born. We are at the point that he is outdrinking what I can pump, and I had been supplementing my frozen milk. Last night, I did an inventory on the milk and realized that I have less than a weeks worth of milk left, so we needed to make some decisions. That is where my guilt comes into play.
I pumped with Madison till she was 4 months old. I quit because I hated it. I couldn’t get my supply to reach her demand. I resented her. I resented doing. I figured it was time to quit. I am not at that point (yet). However, we are going to Green Bay next weekend, and if we are going to introduce formula, I need to do it at home. Bill wanted me to quit pumping a month ago. I am not sleeping, and I am crabby all the time. I also can’t get anything done during the day due to me having to pump all the time.
So I am giving in and feeling pretty guilty about it. I will be able to spend more time with my children by giving this up. We gave Will some formula this morning, and he didn’t seem to mind. So why do I feel so bad?
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