AKA I feel like a bad mommy.

Guilt will do that to you.  As many of you know, we had problems getting Will to latch on, and he got jaundice.  Instead of messing around, I did what I did with Madison and pumped exclusively.  I have been doing that since he was born.  We are at the point that he is outdrinking what I can pump, and I had been supplementing my frozen milk.  Last night, I did an inventory on the milk and realized that I have less than a weeks worth of milk left, so we needed to make some decisions.  That is where my guilt comes into play.

I pumped with Madison till she was 4 months old.  I quit because I hated it.  I couldn’t get my supply to reach her demand.  I resented her.  I resented doing.  I figured it was time to quit.  I am not at that point (yet).  However, we are going to Green Bay next weekend, and if we are going to introduce formula, I need to do it at home.  Bill wanted me to quit pumping a month ago.  I am not sleeping, and I am crabby all the time.  I also can’t get anything done during the day due to me having to pump all the time.

So I am giving in and feeling pretty guilty about it.  I will be able to spend more time with my children by giving this up.  We gave Will some formula this morning, and he didn’t seem to mind.  So why do I feel so bad?