Posts Tagged ‘latch’
I quit
AKA I feel like a bad mommy.
Guilt will do that to you. As many of you know, we had problems getting Will to latch on, and he got jaundice. Instead of messing around, I did what I did with Madison and pumped exclusively. I have been doing that since he was born. We are at the point that he is outdrinking what I can pump, and I had been supplementing my frozen milk. Last night, I did an inventory on the milk and realized that I have less than a weeks worth of milk left, so we needed to make some decisions. That is where my guilt comes into play.
I pumped with Madison till she was 4 months old. I quit because I hated it. I couldn’t get my supply to reach her demand. I resented her. I resented doing. I figured it was time to quit. I am not at that point (yet). However, we are going to Green Bay next weekend, and if we are going to introduce formula, I need to do it at home. Bill wanted me to quit pumping a month ago. I am not sleeping, and I am crabby all the time. I also can’t get anything done during the day due to me having to pump all the time.
So I am giving in and feeling pretty guilty about it. I will be able to spend more time with my children by giving this up. We gave Will some formula this morning, and he didn’t seem to mind. So why do I feel so bad?
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Breast Is Best . . . Or is it?
The other most common question I seem to get asked since I have had Will is whether or not I am breastfeeding. Well, here’s the story of both Madison and Will on this topic.
Madison’s Breastfeeding tale
Madison would never latch on. I met with lactation consultants and everything, and she would not latch on. We had decided that breastfeeding was the way to go. We continued to try and breastfeed when we brought her home. However, she started to become very jaundice. When we brought her in the doctor, we had a blood test done, and her billyrubin (sp?) count was 14.7. Once that number hits 15, they have to have a billy blanket. I was given 3 choices: keep trying to breastfeed and she’d probably end up in the hospital, give her formula, or go buy a breast pump.
We did the later of the three. I ended up pumping for 4 months with her. I quit when I started resenting pumping. I have to think it works, because Madison hardly ever gets sick. She never has had an ear infection. She’s had a few colds and the flu, but that’s it.
Will’s Breastfeeding tale
Well, we are running into some of the same problems with Will. Once we get him latched on, he will eat. However, we have had major problems getting him to latch. Last Sunday, we made the decision after trying to get him to latch for an hour and half at 3 am, that this is not working. I would literally feel myself tense up when I had to feed him, since we were having some many problems. Needless to say, we decided that I should again pump. He will get all the benefits of breast milk, and somebody other than me can feed him. Again, not a perfect solution, but it is the best we can come up with. He also started becoming jaundice, but when we brought him in last Monday, it was already going away.
Where do we go from here?
Honestly, I don’t know. I am not sure if I can do this for 4 months again. However, I have been pumping and freezing what I can. For those of you who have pumped before, how much should I be freezing in each bag? I have been only doing 2 oz in each bag. I do know once you thaw it, you have to use it, so my theory was to do small amounts. However, I now have a ton of bags in my freezer.
Let me know your thoughts!
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