Posts Tagged ‘smile’
Ten Things I Learned While I Was At Pampers/P & G
1. Use Head and Shoulders as a body wash. It removes fungus, athlete’s foot, etc
2. Their mission statement is Happy healthy baby development
3. According to studies that Pampers has done, babies who sleep uninterrupted all night function better in the morning. Keep the moisture away from their behind and they won’t wake up at night! (well, except to feed and Pampers really can’t do anything for that).
4. Pampers senstive wipes are softer than soap and water!
5. They try to see the world through a babies’ eyes. See picture below:
Yes, that bench is that big! It gives you a whole new perspective!
6. A baby walks more steps a day than a marathoner.
7. They have a “Discovery Center” where they have moms come in and test the diapers and prototypes. They get reimbursed for their time with gift certificates for local stores. They also have a daycare for the other children (who aren’t in diapers) of these moms.
8. The new Pampers Swaddlers have a pee line on them. 
There is actually a line on them that changes colors when babies do their thing in them.
9. Another goal of Pampers is to “make a tired mom smile”.
10. I want to drink the Pampers Kool Aid. These people truly believe in their product. We were a Pampers family before I went to this and this just cemented my diaper choice!
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True Friendship
I actually got this in an email, but it made me laugh so I have to pass it on.
“True Friendship” (With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)
Are you tired of those sissy “friendship” poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card-just the stone cold truth of our friendship.
When you are sad — I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.
When you are blue — I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
When you smile — I will know you finally got laid.
When you are scared– I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried — I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
When you are confused — I will use little words.
When you are sick — Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don’t want to catch whatever you have.
When you fall — I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath….. I pledge it to the end. “Why?” you may ask,”Because you are my friend”. We don’t need a succession plan, because friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.
Happy Mother’s Day
I got this is an email. It is too good not to pass on!
As a Mother, I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
“Why?” my daughter asked.
“Because it’s been on the ground, you don’t know where it’s been. It’s dirty and probably has germs” I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, “Mommy, how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart.”
I was thinking quickly. “All moms know this stuff. It’s on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don’t let you be a Mommy.”
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
“OH…I get it!” she beamed, “So if you don’t pass the test, you have to be the daddy.”
“Exactly!” I replied back with a big smile on my face.
When you’re finished laughing, send this to a Mom.
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