This is a guest post.
As parents we strive to teach our children to grow up with the correct manners and a sense of morality. We show them how to observe their table manners, how to be polite to the elderly, how to respect other people’s property, and use the magic words ‘please” and “thank you” as often as possible. But have you ever found yourself doing exactly the opposite of what you preach? Has your child ever called your attention to remind you not to speak when your mouth is full?
And how do you usually respond? With a “it’s alright, because we’re alone at home” excuse? At times like these, don’t you wish you can disappear and escape the “why? but you said…” query that will definitely ensue? I often get caught red handed by my child telling white lies, or eating sweets right before dinner when I constantly tell her not to. So what can you do to avoid this parenting pitfall of not practicing what you preach?
Stop Rationalizing!
Parents are humans and humans make mistakes. But what makes us noble is the ability to admit when we make erroneous choices. Steer clear of trying to rationalize it or making up silly excuses. Show them instead the value of humility by saying you made a mistake and that you accept the consequences.
A great idea to help you start practicing what you are preaching is to find time to write down home rules and expected behavior. Do this with your children and together, set down the appropriate consequences. Say a dollar for every swear word uttered by anyone including you. Or less TV time when someone failed not to finish their vegetables. Kids are likely to follow rules that they participated in making. So should you.
While at it, introduce the reality that there may be different rules for different ages. This way kids are aware of why daddy is allowed to stay up late and why they have to be in bed at 7pm. Explain the differing needs of adults and children.
Doing this will save you from being regularly bombarded with whining and questioning especially when the kids notice something unfair is happening at home. Avoid choosing the easy way out, the “do as I say, not as I do” remark as kids will tend to resent you over time. Without proper justification and explanation of your behavior, kids will continue to wonder and may start mirroring your behavior then rationalizing it. You’ll then end up giving them a pass out of your own guilt. So don’t get yourself trapped in this situation. Have a sit down moment instead with your kids to address and resolve any issues that you deem may come up.
Actions do speak louder than words and this is more true when you became parents. So better start minding your behavior. Or perhaps use this time to kick start your resolutions and be a better role model. What could be a better motivation than doing it for the kids?
Start by recognizing the truths may it be reminding yourself that eating healthy and regular exercise is good for you. Then gradually try to change your habits. Your efforts will be noticed by those little people who are watching you. And though you may be full of contradictions, your will to act as you say will help you become not only a better person, but more importantly a better parent.
Annie is a fruga blogger and social media enthusiast who writes on free money-saving tips and tools like Home Loan Finder, a handy loan comparison tool based in Australia. You can follow Annie on twitter as ViralMomTweets
