As many of you know, I suffered a miscarriage in July. I have brought it up on here now and then. What I found is that people do not know what to do if you are grieving. This holds true if you are grieving a mother, sister, friends, or baby. People do not know what to do. I have 2 (aff) friends that both have suffered miscarriages. I did not know what to say to them either of them either (that is, till I went through it myself). However, they knew what to say to me when this horrible thing happened.
My miscarriage will always be with me. I will always wonder (aff) about that baby. The baby I am pregnant with now does not replace the one I lost. I have attended a support group in Hinsdale, IL called Still Missed. If you are grieving, it is something I suggest you do. It is nice being with people who understand what you are going through. They even have a support group for people like me who have subsequent pregnancies after a miscarriage. I am considering attending it in a couple of weeks. My mission with this post is that if you are grieving, there is help out there.
There are seven stages to grief. The stages are as follows: denial, anger, guilt, depression, forgiveness acceptance, and recovery. You may go back and forth from one stage to another. Most people have heard of these stages.
However, there is another list you should read. In my monthly newsletter, there was a list of “10 things that I learned about grief.” I am going to reprint the list here. These were written by Becky Russell.
1. Shock and denial last a very long time.
2 (aff). Grief is physically brutal.
3 (aff). My pain and tears make others uncomfortable.
4. It is difficult to grieve and help your family.
5. There is power in a card or letter.
6. Thank you notes can be overwhelming.
7. There is power in support groups.
8. Responses can be different than expected.
9. Everyone grieves in their own way.
10. Grief can be totally transforming.
If you have gone through anything like this, you are nodding you head as you read the list. I know I was. If you have not, please remember this list when you go to help others.