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Hallmark On A Bad Day

My tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat

When (aff) I looked at the tire…

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!

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Heard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it…

She moved in with me.

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Looking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder…

“What the hell was I thinking?”

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Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.

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How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?

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I've always wanted to have

someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.

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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.

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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am…

That you're not here to ruin it for me.

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Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go…

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.

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Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )

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Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!

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When (aff) we were together,

you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.

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We have been friends for a very long time ..

let's say we stop?

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I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.

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Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?

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Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.

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So your daughter's a hooker,

and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay

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Lisa Martin

Lisa Martin

In April 2006, Lisa began blogging to stay connected with distant relatives and friends. As she delved into blogging, she discovered the potential to assist others by sharing her experiences. Lisa has actively engaged in numerous exclusive media ventures. Notable among these are her participation in events such as the Sony Mommy Bloggers Event, the Pampers Mommy Bloggers Event, the Epson Event in Chicago, the Stouffers Event, a memorable yacht excursion with Lands End, collaborations with 1-800-Baskets, an exclusive tour for bloggers by Mrs. Prindable’s, partnerships with Hallmark, PopCap games, Chicago Cubs Mastercard Priceless Events, and Rug Doctor. In addition, she has collaborated with Nutrisystem on a weight loss initiative, teamed up with Buick and Chevy, and served as a brand ambassador for Sprint. Lisa's collaboration portfolio also extends to Disney, where she has participated in press trips for significant movies such as Frozen, Guardians of the Galaxy, McFarland USA, The Good Dinosaur, The BFG, and Cars 3. Notably, for projects like Frozen, The BFG, and Cars 3, she was granted the privilege of walking the red carpet and conducting interviews with celebrities. The impact of Lisa's blog has gained recognition, with The New York Times referencing her content. Moreover, she has been featured in interviews by respected publications such as the Southtown Star, The Chicago Sun Times, and inside.View Author posts