2 mins read

I quit

AKA I feel like a bad mommy.

Guilt will do that to you.  As many of you know, we had problems getting Will to latch on, and he got jaundice.  Instead of messing around, I did what I did with Madison and pumped exclusively.  I have been doing that since he was born.  We are at the point that he is outdrinking what I can pump, and I had been supplementing my frozen (aff) milk.  Last night, I did an inventory on the milk and realized that I have less than a weeks worth of milk left, so we needed to make some decisions.  That is where my guilt comes into play.

I pumped with Madison till she was 4 months old.  I quit because I hated it.  I couldn't get my supply to reach her demand.  I resented her.  I resented doing.  I figured it was time to quit.  I am not at that point (yet).  However, we are going to Green Bay next weekend, and if we are going to introduce formula, I need to do it at home (aff).  Bill wanted me to quit pumping a month ago.  I am not sleeping, and I am crabby all the time.  I also can't get anything done during the day due to me having to pump all the time.

So I am giving in and feeling pretty guilty about it.  I will be able to spend more time with my children by giving this up.  We gave Will some formula this morning, and he didn't seem to mind.  So why do I feel so bad?

6 thoughts on “I quit

  1. Oh that is so hard. I feel for ya mama. I exclusively pumped for my son for 2 months before getting him to latch. If you are interested, I'd be happy to try to help via email.

  2. I just have to get past the guilt. I've has mastitis 3 times too, so I am just kinda done with it. I've tried several times to get him to latch, and he won't.

    He'll be 3 months on Sept. 7th, so I at least lasted almost 3 months with him.

  3. Aawww! Don't feel bad!! You did perfectly, just love the boy. You can't live by standards that are unreal for you. You are just you! What the hell is this world if we feel guilty for doing the best we can, like the best isn't good enough. That is total crap. You did great….pat yourself on the back and give him an extra hug.

  4. don't feel bad,

    my wife also have the same problem with you,

    she cannot supply enough for my 4 month baby.

    my baby want more, but my wife cannot give more..

    so we try to give my baby (Darin) formula..

    Darin was happy at that time, because she can drink more..

    now Darin already 2 years old. and she is OK, I mean she in perfect condition, healthy..

  5. You have nothing to feel guilty about. I never gave my first baby formula at all because I felt guilty about the thought but with the new one there have been some nights where the baby seemed to want to nurse all night and I had my husband give her some formula and it did help to fill her up and she slept longer than usual.

    I don't blame you with the pumping. I can only handle doing it a few times a week.

    Your baby will be fine any length of nursing is beneficial for the baby.

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