5 mins read

The Total Transformation Program

Don't you wish your kids came with a handbook?  I know I wish mine did.  I luck out that my children are still young.  We don't have the out of control tweens or tweenagers here.  I don't having challenging behaviors to deal except for 4 year old energy.  However, I don't want my kids to turn into those kids!  That is why I decided to look at The Total Transformation Program.  I also read on so many moms blogs about their children treating them poorly — calling them names, being violent, not listening, etc.  What always floors me is that they would not put up from that behavior from a stranger, but it is okay for their children to behave in that matter.

Now, I wasn't expecting much.  Instead, I got 7 CDs, 1 DVD and a workbook.  The first thing I do have to tell you:  this program will NOT work if you don't put the time into it.  This isn't read the book, and you have a magic pill to make everything good again.  There is work involved here.  Now, if you have younger children like mine, you may have to do some modification on this program.  (Then again I don't have a lot of the problems either so I just am modifying it for my own needs).  I'll be honest, if you don't want to do the work, then don't buy this.  Otherwise it will just end up being a bookend in your house.

What I have learned so far?  First, I learned that some of my parental methods are not the right ones (which I knew already).  You are able to find out what you fall under for your ineffective parenting roles.  Personally, I am the screamer.  I know, I shouldn't but I do.  However, I never realized what I was teaching my children.  When I get into a yelling match with Madison, I am showing her that we are emotional peers.  I have come down to her level and just undermined my own authority (this was my duh! moment).  I also am showing her that no one is in control.  Now, this seems like common sense, but you don't even realize this is what is going on. (All of this is in the workbook).  You have to assume parental control.  You need to give simple directions and quit asking your kids to do things.  You tell them to do their homework versus asking them.  You have to disconnect when disrespect occurs.  When the scream starts, you walk away.  There is no reasoning with your children.  You are the boss (and there are scripts in the workbook that you can use).  You need to lessen the stimulation in their lives.  Give positive feedback when appropriate.  If they do good, tell them.  You can't just be on their butts about all the negative behavior.  You need to show them that good behavior gets them a much better response.

This is how The Total Transformation Program works.  First, get the workbook.  The workbook has a pretest for each lesson which is your introduction for the lesson.  Next, you listen to the audio CD.  These are long (I'd say maybe an hour or so), so make sure you have the time to listen.  Then after the CD is over, you go back to the workbook.  There is a summary of what you should have gotten from the lesson, exercises for you to do, and an action plan for you.  Then do it again with the next lesson.  They recommend one CD a week, so this is pretty easy to schedule somewhere in your life.

Now, this isn't going to work with every single kids out there.  There is no way I can say it will.  The part I like about this program is that you can work it according to your schedule, your pace, and your family.  They have a 30 day trial, so you can try this out with your family.  If it is not working, send it back!  They also have a parental support line.  They can clarify lessons for you and even direct you to the correct response to incidents occurring in your house.   This isn't a program that leaves you high and dry after you get the stuff in the mail.  They are with you every step of the way.

If you are at your wits end with your children, I definitely think this is program you should try out.  I've seen little changes I have made with my daughter (like it keeping it simple) already working with her.  I'd love to hear from any of you who have tried this program and tell me your thoughts!

32 thoughts on “The Total Transformation Program

  1. I've heard the commercials for these on the radio, but I wasn't sure if it was the same program from the infomercials. My wife was looking into these, so I'll have to let her know what you thought about them. Thanks!


  2. As a school bus driver, we had to go through a course and then a refresher course at the beginning of each school year.

    The course showed us the importance of not screaming, but its still hard to avoid.

  3. I looked into these, desperate for some help with my belligerent son…only to be turned off by the $250 cost. I wish if someone had something that would really help, they wouldn't try to get rich off on the first shot. I would have loved a small introductory fee, for a portion, and if it worked you could order the rest…but their asking price was far too high for my budget! Glad you have a chance to check 'em out!

  4. I am a firm believer in 'Spare the Rod and Spoil The Child'
    If a child is raised with no discipline, they cannot learn respect for themselves or others. Part of today's problems stem from a lack of respect. Too many kids today do not respect life, themselves or others

  5. I think this program is fantastic from what I've reveiwed so far. It is changing my parenting skills. That will, in turn, change my kid's actions, reactions and behaviors.

  6. Well said, MKWeb! Spare the rod, spoil the child! I am a firm believer in beating the living shit out of my kids too. If you don't beat a child within an inch of his life at every opportunity, he won't learn enough to do it to his own kids. And if that doesn't work? Elective surgery to remove a limb or two. Nothing says you're serious like a missing thumb!

    1. @Greg, You said "If you don’t beat a child within an inch of his life at every opportunity, he won’t learn enough to do it to his own kids. And if that doesn’t work? Elective surgery to remove a limb or two. Nothing says you’re serious like a missing thumb".

      Someone oughta beat the shit out of you and leave you for dead, you ignorant son of a bitch.

  7. I have not used this program yet, but I might suggest to some of you to look into the Love and Logic information too. It is GREAT! I would recommend "From Innocence to Entitlement". It' an easy read and gives some basic ideas for making life a lot better with difficult children.
    I am an administrator at a high school discipline center, so I have some experence with tough kids. Good luck to you all!

  8. This is in response to #7 Greg's comments. I would like to know why this losers reply has not been taken off this site. I only pray that this person/animal doesn't really have children, and it is his lame attempt at getting attention.

  9. Sharon, you might want to learn a bit about sarcasm. Apparently Greg DISAGREES with MKWeb and was using extreme overstatement to make a point. Honestly, I'm surprised that anyone could miss that–at least when they came to the "elective surgery" part–if not in the first sentence or two. 😕

  10. Thanks, Alison.

    Folks, kids learn to deal with things by seeing how you deal with them. Hit your kids? They'll hit theirs. Lose your temper a lot? They will too. Curse? Your kids will be doing it in no time.

    Hitting your children is not the only way to communicate dissatisfaction. Teaching them right from wrong does not have to come at the threat of pain. Do that and your kids will fear getting caught, not understanding that what they did was wrong.

  11. Greg,

    I think you misunderstand what "Spare the rod, spoil the child" means. It does not mean hitting, etc…It means having standards and expectations for a child and that the child knows there are consequences when they do wrong. If there are no consequences or consequences are not inforced when a child does wrong, then the child becomes spoiled, self-absorbed

  12. my father recommended this for my 15 yr. old daughter. She is seeing counselor now. treated for bipolar but refuses meds. can't shove it down her throat! wish i could most days. it is a fight , like most things, also very defiant. Nothing has worked. Awards for good behavior, restriction from phone, computer, driving etc. even as a child a spanking for bad behavior would cause her to kick and scream at you. Do any of you have a child that is possible bipolar that this has helped with? thanks for any help.

  13. Lisa, I don't have such a child. I am lucky enough to have a child that responds very well to time outs. I do however have a sibling who is bipolar and if it is any consolation, she has learned to live with her condition by limiting her exposure to other people, including family. She free-lances, lives alone, and never spends the night at family event, even out of state (gets a hotel room instead) so that she never has to suffer, or cause someone else suffer the fallout from her mood swings. If something triggers it, she can just leave. Unfortunately, such a buffer also allows her to indulge in, rather than control her feelings of injustice or that others are against her.

  14. I ordered this two years ago, and ended up putting it on a bookshelf since my son was a little too young at that time. Now he is 7, and I am interested in starting the program now. Hoever, after pulling this out, I can't find that darn workbook anywhere. After listening to the first cd, it says to refer to the workbook for additional lessons. So- I can see I really need it! Does anyone know how I can get just the workbook portion? I am willing to pay for it. ktcwest1@alltel.net

  15. Greg, your comments about beating children are messed up, there is somthing wrong with you. It's cowardly to beat children. I have a 9 year old that I have never had the need to hit. I'm 5'10" 225 lbs, all muscle with 25 years of martial arts training. Why don't you try smacking me around you coward? '

    1. @Greg, When people read your post at #6, most of them can't tell if you're just kidding or being serious because of the nature of your comment. And then there are others who will read that and actually take it as advice. Sarcastic or not, it still wasn't appropriate of you to post that comment. You should have rephrased it, left out the expletives and added something in the end to imply that you were being sarcastic.

  16. The program sounds very good and the reason why I will not purchase it is because of what Ive read online. Believe me, its all good cuz everyone here and other places confirmed what I already know–we were at family counseling for the problems that this program deals with and our counselor taught us exactly what this program teaches. Its actually very simple–teach the kids that this is the way this or that needs to be done and then let them do it. Be consistent and dont argue because that will get you nowhere. Kids crave guidance, no matter how they kick and scream that they dont. Kids need that and they look to us to give them it. If we turn around and act the way they are acting towards us, well I think Im not showing or teaching them anything about respect, which is my big deal.

    Doesnt it sound simple? Its all about consistency. Kids need structure and they need to know how things are. If I end up doing what ever it was I told my 11 yrs old to do, thats just gonna teach her, "Well, Mom will eventually take care of it. So Ill just put up with her yelling at me to do it cuz I know she'll get tired of yelling at me."

    There is no magic bullet because everything takes work and both you and your spouse have to be on board together. Nothing will change if you both do not work together. Its very simple. Its harder to train an adult than to raise a child–the kid isnt born w baggage but we have boatloads of it!

    Im also surprised at the price of the program. I guess in the scheme of things, its cheaper than family therapy. $250 is pretty steep for what should be common sense. If you are really on the edge tho, then shell out the cash. Even tho Im not going to purchase it for the reason Ive already stated, I do think that this program is good and if you are willing to change how YOU parent, then it will be $$ well spent.

  17. If you can't afford it…
    Some people believe that they need something like the Total Transformation Program, but can't afford it. The most brilliant thing about the program is how it is marketed, and to a large degree it is designed for marketability. There is no special secret, or magic bullet, and after you put up the cash you'll find out it is going to be some work. The high price is part of the programs effectiveness, because after paying all of that money you are less likely to leave it on a shelf. You don't have to pay all that money, but you do have to put in some work. There is nothing in the program that you can't find out at the local library. If you can study on your own and take a lot of notes you can customize a plan that you believe in. If you spend a lot of money you are going to have to do the work anyway. Take the kid to the library with you and have some quiet time together. They can do their homework. Participating with them, while they see you going through a lot of trouble to find a way to get along might in itself be enough to make a difference.

  18. ok,, so I don't have to buy this, and glad to not be spending $$ that I don't have.. i get the tell it like it is, like it or not approach, I can do that.. but WHAT IF, your disrespectful 7 yr old, just doesn't pick up his truck?? what do you do? spank time out, etc.. I have tried many diff things w/ son. My hubby isn't such a good spanker.. we're not really together on how and when to spank.. he didn't have "any" adult supervision as a child, and really is confused. I will not argue, w/ son, but hubby will,,, what can we do?? teacher says son is horrible, negative, cold, mean etc..

  19. Some people, when training a dog, will spank it. I have a dog that has never been hit, ever, and people are surprised how obedient, and generally good natured she is. Other dogs that were hit were sometimes not cooperate, or sneaky, and; they were often vicious to other animals. But my dog doesn't know violence, and even when her cat runs to her bowl and eats her food, she might just look up and whine about the encroachment. She was not driven by fear to become this way, she was driven by the need for acceptance, and if fear played a part–it was the fear of ostracism. The closest she'd come to misbehaving would be a demand for attention if she was neglected.

    I don't know what is going on with this child, but I'd guess from the description that he certainly has found a way to get attention. I don't know what he wants, or what he learned, but if you can't afford a professional evaluation, then a local library should have some books that could give you ideas. If you think he will go as far as to harm himself or someone else to get attention then free professional help should be available.

  20. Lisa, response #13
    I was just checking the feedback on the total transformation and saw your post. I hope I am not too late with a reply as I see your comment was dated a while back. I have a brother who is bi-polar and being that I am only a 1 1/2 younger than him, I lived through his long journey along with my parents. He is now 39, but was showing signs of bi-polar at 13. He also went through a period of not taking the medication as well as a period of time where he went off it. I know that you are doing all you can and seeing the counselor is a good start. I wanted to suggest a support group of kids your daughters age that are bi-polar. I know that many hospitals have these groups as well as being matched with an adult/adolescent that are managing their bi-polar condition succesfully. The hope is that your daugther won't feel so alone in her diagnosis and learn how others work through their challenges.

    Also, don't ever give up! My parents along with my brother went through some very difficult times (gone for days at a time, in and out of treatment centers, etc.) and he is now doing so much better with a good job, his favorite dog and being with family. He does better in smaller groups and even with his medication he often battles depression. With counseling, reaching out and family – he continues to move forward. I know that the support of my parents (even though they couldn't see the future) helped my brother be the best of who he is at the core.

    I hope this helps and I will keep you & your daughter in my thoughts & prayers.

  21. I have been considering trying this program out. I have seen quite a few good reviews like this one that makes me want to go for it!

  22. Lisa,

    Great review you've written here. I agree whole heartedly that a lot of people buy these things and then expect it to jump out of the package and work on it's own without any effort from the user 😉

    And in response to the one person who mentioned it's too expensive there is a $1 thirty day trial. Hopefully that helps!

  23. I am biting the bullet and ordering this program (though through ebay, and a cheaper price…though you have to be patient and shop).

    I do not know where and how we went wrong, but even though I know what is common sense, etc., I need some help. This, despite the fact that I have had counselors, my daughter has been in a treatment facility, psychiatrist, etc. We are still teetering on the edge….AND I have 5 children total, so everything seems to pile up both behaviorally and physically.

    I have 1 daughter with social anxiety and other issues, one daughter with ADHD (extreme hyperactivity)…and the other three have learned from their behaviors.

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