Don't you wish your kids came with a handbook? I know I wish mine did. I luck out that my children are still young. We don't have the out of control tweens or tweenagers here. I don't having challenging behaviors to deal except for 4 year old energy. However, I don't want my kids to turn into those kids! That is why I decided to look at The Total Transformation Program. I also read on so many moms blogs about their children treating them poorly — calling them names, being violent, not listening, etc. What always floors me is that they would not put up from that behavior from a stranger, but it is okay for their children to behave in that matter.
Now, I wasn't expecting much. Instead, I got 7 CDs, 1 DVD and a workbook. The first thing I do have to tell you: this program will NOT work if you don't put the time into it. This isn't read the book, and you have a magic pill to make everything good again. There is work involved here. Now, if you have younger children like mine, you may have to do some modification on this program. (Then again I don't have a lot of the problems either so I just am modifying it for my own needs). I'll be honest, if you don't want to do the work, then don't buy this. Otherwise it will just end up being a bookend in your house.
What I have learned so far? First, I learned that some of my parental methods are not the right ones (which I knew already). You are able to find out what you fall under for your ineffective parenting roles. Personally, I am the screamer. I know, I shouldn't but I do. However, I never realized what I was teaching my children. When I get into a yelling match with Madison, I am showing her that we are emotional peers. I have come down to her level and just undermined my own authority (this was my duh! moment). I also am showing her that no one is in control. Now, this seems like common sense, but you don't even realize this is what is going on. (All of this is in the workbook). You have to assume parental control. You need to give simple directions and quit asking your kids to do things. You tell them to do their homework versus asking them. You have to disconnect when disrespect occurs. When the scream starts, you walk away. There is no reasoning with your children. You are the boss (and there are scripts in the workbook that you can use). You need to lessen the stimulation in their lives. Give positive feedback when appropriate. If they do good, tell them. You can't just be on their butts about all the negative behavior. You need to show them that good behavior gets them a much better response.
This is how The Total Transformation Program works. First, get the workbook. The workbook has a pretest for each lesson which is your introduction for the lesson. Next, you listen to the audio CD. These are long (I'd say maybe an hour or so), so make sure you have the time to listen. Then after the CD is over, you go back to the workbook. There is a summary of what you should have gotten from the lesson, exercises for you to do, and an action plan for you. Then do it again with the next lesson. They recommend one CD a week, so this is pretty easy to schedule somewhere in your life.
Now, this isn't going to work with every single kids out there. There is no way I can say it will. The part I like about this program is that you can work it according to your schedule, your pace, and your family. They have a 30 day trial, so you can try this out with your family. If it is not working, send it back! They also have a parental support line. They can clarify lessons for you and even direct you to the correct response to incidents occurring in your house. This isn't a program that leaves you high and dry after you get the stuff in the mail. They are with you every step of the way.
If you are at your wits end with your children, I definitely think this is program you should try out. I've seen little changes I have made with my daughter (like it keeping it simple) already working with her. I'd love to hear from any of you who have tried this program and tell me your thoughts!