(Disclosure: Womanly things discussed. Read at your own will.)
Key Takeaways
- The author’s son, Will, kept her awake all night before his 2nd birthday party, adding to her stress.
- She experiences severe cramps and emotional distress due to her ongoing monthly period problem, worsened by recent estrogen treatment.
- The author fears potential outcomes of her upcoming surgery, including serious health issues or discovering nothing wrong.
- Despite her struggles, she acknowledges others have it worse and reflects on her emotional state while trying to clean.
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
I haven’t slept all night. Will decided he didn’t want to sleep, and someone had to stay up with him. So I’m running on no sleep and I’m crabby about it.
Will’s 2nd birthday party is tomorrow, and it’s stressing me out. My family arrives today, and I still need to finish cleaning.
And then there’s my ongoing monthly period problem – the reason for the upcoming surgery. If you don’t know what’s going on, you can catch up here and here. Basically, and I still can’t quite believe this, my period has gotten worse since I started taking estrogen two weeks ago. Worse. Right now I want nothing more than to curl into a ball; that’s how bad the cramps are. And this is with birth control. I can only imagine how much worse it would be without it.
So I sit here feeling sorry for myself, which I know I shouldn’t do. Plenty of people have it worse than I do. This is just lack of sleep, cramps, and an emotional roller coaster courtesy of these hormones. I just want it to be over. I want the surgery, scheduled for June 24th, to be over. That’s two weeks away, which means I’ll have dealt with this monthly period problem since May 4th, at minimum, until then.
My fears? What will they find? From what I’ve read, it could be as simple as a fibroid or a polyp. Or it could be something else. Cancer runs heavily in my family – pretty much every kind there is. My aunt died of lung cancer exactly one year ago today (she also had bone, I believe, and breast cancer), so that weighs on me. Another aunt died of ovarian cancer. No one’s said anything to me directly, but I’ve already warned Bill that I might lose “the girly parts.” This could turn out to be nothing. Or it could turn out to be very bad.
My other fear is the opposite: that they find nothing. Then I’ll have spent several thousand dollars just to learn that. And then what – am I just supposed to deal with it?
Those are my thoughts on a Friday morning when I’m supposed to be cleaning. 🙂
Added:Â You know you’re having a bad day when you scroll your Twitter feed, see people getting #followfriday shoutouts, and it makes you tear up. Thanks again, everyone.
I hope everything turned out well, Lisa. Sharing your thoughts and daily rants to people is a good thing, especially if you wanna know something that could help you. I assume you have told your doctor about this. I'm sure he or she had helped you well.
How's it going now?
I’m wishing you all the best with your surgery. everything is going to be alright!
I'm sorry you're going to have to get the surgery after all. Wish I lived closer so I could help you with the kiddos that week.
Lisa, I'm wishing you all the best with your surgery. Be tough and everything is going to be alright!
Oh! I had one of those about 10 years ago. It could have been anything from an ovarian cyst to an ovarian tumor. Turned out, it was a mere fibroid dangling in a position so that on the ultrasound it looked like it was on an ovary. Whew!
But I didn't know that beforehand and laid awake many nights worrying and crying. I didn't have kids at that point, so I also got to kick myself around for waiting so long, too.
The absolute WORST part was in the weeks before the surgery, when I didn't know what was going to happen or what was going to have to come out. I think even if it had been an ovary – or more – it would have been easier to deal with than the uncertainty of all the possibilities. I think I would have lost my mind if I'd had the pain and the hormonal roller coaster to deal with as well.
I'll, too, be thinking of you on the 24th and hoping for the best.
I will be thinking of you and hoping for the best for you when you have your surgery.
I wil be going in for mine on the 29th so if I don't hear from you before I go in, please know that my thoughts will be with you and hoping all will be well. 🙂